mixed feelings

Today I have a couple of things on my mind. As I write this, it’s Friday and I’m not working today. I have started to think about the project I mentioned a couple of days ago in the motivation piece and I’ve realised that the initial surge of enthusiasm has started to wear off and has been replaced with only a couple of points of concern for me about how I should continue.

One of them is copyright. The material I am working from is highly subject to copyright issues and as such, I may well be incredibly restricted to use or refer to it. While I am still driven to create the content I want to create, the impending problem of having it struck from the internet at a stroke is not very helpful when it comes to the idea of making a living from this sort of thing. Yes, I have an ulterior motive – I want to be able to make money doing hard work – is that so bad?

The other issue is my lack of note gathering experience. I never went to university, and as such, I never really built up the skill of gathering notes on content as an addendum to learning. I will have to build the skill as I go which means I may well end up redrafting early content as I go and the skills improve.

As I started with, the initial enthusiasm has worn off, but not so much that I consider abandoning the project altogether. By going through this, I will pick up a number of valuable skills and a qualification with the potential to earn money so I have an opportunity that I can’t really turn down.

Even as I typed that, I had a sinking feeling that I will abandon the project as fast as I start it. That is not something I want to do – obviously – and as such, this is the sort of test I want to build up my mental endurance. The way to achieve success in this type of thing is to simply stick at it. I’ve managed 277 days of writing 500 words a day – irrespective of the quality – and I want to be able to draw a parallel between that and achieving other tasks. I wrote several months ago that the difference was that the writing I did then was not public, so it could be as poor quality as I liked and I wouldn’t have to think about it. Now that it is public, I’m not terribly sure that the quality has improved measurably (although I am thinking about it more), but I am no more convinced that it is linked to continuous productivity elsewhere.

I’m getting my messages mixed up here. I am trying to create that ‘stick to it’ skill, and writing publicly, I thought, would be a stepping stone. I’m not very sure that this is the case.

I will soldier on. I have an inkling of interest in this project, still, and I have the tools I need to take notes. I have identified a step where something can go wrong – the actual condensing of notes into a publishable form, rather than putting them to one side and telling myself I’ll do them later – and if I can maintain progress and keep on doing all the tasks I need to do to make this work in parallel, then I’ll be good.