I may have used that title before.
At 80% through the current 100 day cycle, 90% through the 200 day cycle, I thought I’d pause for a moment and reflect on my progress so far. This is helped by the lazy Sunday morning feeling I have right now.
So far, I haven’t skipped a day in my 500 word journey, and neither do I intend to. Bloodycomplaining.com got this far before I shut it down as I had nothing to say; I’m clearly better at sticking to some things now.
Public posting takes its toll on the writing - as I expected, I now write more slowly and am less open. That’s absolutely where I expected to be and I’m fine with that.
Looking back at projects doesn’t show a lot of progress so far. This isn’t a great surprise, but I did wonder the other day if I’ll ever be as productive as I think I want to be. It’s a strange set of circumstances that causes me to have loads of project ideas but fail to achieve anything with any of them; most of them struggled to even get started.
I didn’t write today’s post to start remonstrating with myself about a lack of progress on projects which were never going to get done. They all share the same characteristics, which was an overwhelming enthusiasm which lasted all of three days, followed by a slow decline into mediocrity, procrastination and ultimately realising that they are never going to happen. I’ve killed a lot of projects that barely even got off the ground.
I’ve also done the self analysis thing endlessly and that hasn’t turned up any answers either. I don’t know why I don’t continue with the projects, but lack of motivation obviously is a huge factor. Browbeating myself into working doesn’t work either.
I would like to come to the conclusion that acceptance of my current position is the best way forward. I am the sort of person who had a lot of ideas and doesn’t make any (yet) work. That doesn’t mean I should give up - far from it, I would rather have all these ideas and build up experience than just sit and do nothing - but more that I will have to be happier with the lack of progress until one of two things happen:
1) a project comes along that galvanises me so much I have to do it at all costs
2) I manage to pick a project to work on that I can keep pushing through the pain of procrastination and turn it into a success.
My definition of success is not that it’s popular - just that I have completed a project and can say it’s finished. It’s popularity after that will be unimportant as it’s progress that matters here.
All of this is in my future. I promise myself I won’t let progress tail off on writing, and I’ll just keep on going when it comes to turning ideas into projects that at least get started. One of them will eventually turn a corner, I know.